Mine, Not Hers Read online

  "What took so long?" I ask as I wipe my eyes.

  "Well, Dr. Parks was in the office after I finished with my last patient. He called me into his office to talk."

  Oh no, I hope he's not losing his job. Not a great time to tell him he's going to be a daddy.

  “He's going to retire next year, and wants me to take over the practice. He wanted to discuss a buyout, but he's making it cheap. He’s essentially giving me the practice."

  "Why would he do that? Won't he lose a lot of money?"

  "No, he's well off. This practice is the go-to place for all the major athletes in Chicago. He’s built an amazing clientele. He treats me like a son, and told me that's how he feels about me. He knows I'll continue to grow the practice the way he would."

  I'm taken aback. This is unbelievable news.

  "Oh, honey! I'm so proud of you, congratulations!"

  I jump up and throw my arms around his neck. The swift movement, plus the fact that my stomach is empty, makes me feel dizzy and green. I run to the bathroom, and dry heave a few times. Jason comes running after me.

  "Honey, are you OK? What is it?"

  I turn around to look at him, and whisper, "I'm pregnant."

  Chapter 11

  Katie

  Ten years later

  Jason bought us a large house in Glencoe. We’ve been looking at larger homes for years, but have just been too busy to act on anything. The small home we purchased near his office after we got married is bursting at the seams. I love being close to his office; I can pop in whenever I want to say “hi” with the kids. I’ve made the most of our living space, but Grace and Zach need more room.

  Jason got up early and went for a drive alone this morning. When he returned, he had a gleam in his eye. He placed a book, yes, a book, about a house in Glencoe on the table in front of me.

  "I bought it for you, sweetheart. I know you'll love it."

  He’s grinning from ear to ear. The house is stunning, as in I’m stunned. The price tag is just over two million dollars. The practice is doing well, but even so, this is too much. He wants me to like it so badly.

  "Come go for a drive with me. Leave the kids next door with Anne."

  The expression on his face is pleading. I bring the kids over to our elderly neighbor, and ask if she wouldn't mind watching them for a while. She loves to spend time with them, and they enjoy her, too. I would miss this.

  We hop into Jason's BMW, and speed north. The town is beautiful. After some few twists and turns down some lovely streets, we stop. It really is stunning: A white colonial from the turn of the century, completely remodeled, but retained its charm. Jason can't read my face, and is getting flustered.

  "Honey, I know it's a drastic change, but we deserve it. You deserve it. You've always been by my side while I've worked so hard. Let's enjoy our success."

  I still don't have anything to say. I just meander from room to room, trying to take it all in. I grew up in a house for three. He takes my hand and leads me out into the most beautiful backyard I have ever seen. From the second-story deck, there is a breathtaking view of Lake Michigan. In the center of the large yard is an in-ground, kidney bean-shaped pool. Trees and gardens surround it, and a waterfall streams into the pool from a large stone structure. A gorgeous outdoor fireplace sits opposite the waterfall. The yard was designed for all four seasons. I’m struck mute.

  "Katie, please say something! You’re killing me!"

  He’s trying so hard to gauge my expressions.

  "I love it, sweetheart, how could I not? It's the most beautiful home I've ever seen. What are we saying to our children, though? I wasn't raised in this level of affluence. I don't know how to behave with all of this." I wave my hand around toward the backyard and the house, encompassing everything with one swoop of my arm. "How in the world can we afford this?"

  He walks over to me, and takes my hand. We sit down on the beautiful stone steps that lead to the house.

  "After dad died and mom sold the bakeries, she received a lot of money. It wasn't just the stores, but some of her recipes were used for commercial products. She still receives royalty money. She divided the money by four. Johnny's is in a trust until he gets married, Megan and her husband used theirs to open the private school in Arizona, and mom kept one-fourth in a trust for all of her grandchildren. Our share, only a portion, went to the house. I’ve sat on this money for a while now just waiting for the perfect time to do this.”

  I knew he got a lot in the will, but I had no idea it was this much. "I'm also using some to expand the practice, with two more facilities in the city. We will have no debt. I need to do this for you, Grace and Zach."

  Even though I know that’s true, I also know that a little part of him needs this for himself, too. He wants to prove that he can provide for us and give us the best life imaginable. I don't think he dreamed of owning his own practice this soon. He is fortunate for that to have worked out the way it did, and he knows it. He doesn’t take that for granted. Moving to this neighborhood is going to be a major adjustment for us. Jason and the kids will be OK, but it's up to me to make this work.

  Chapter 12

  Katie

  I meet Melanie the week we move into our new house. It’s the middle of football season, and Jason and all three practices are extremely busy. He’s primarily focused on seeing his A-list athletes and managing the business. This keeps him at the office until late almost every night. He promises that it’s temporary, and that he’ll hire full-time practice managers, but he loves his work and feels that he needs to handle everything himself.

  Melanie lives two houses down. She has three boys, John, Matthew and Luke who are nine, six and four respectively. With such biblical names, one might assume they’re little angels, but quite the contrary. They’re wild. Grace and John are in the same class together and get along well. Zach is between Matthew and Luke in age, but is bigger and more athletic than them both. Zach is quiet and focused, just like Jason. He doesn't tolerate it well when the boys are being silly, and they’re always being silly.

  She and her husband, Chris, are several years apart in age. He has a big job with an investment-banking firm, and travels all the time. Even when he's home, he defers all discipline to her. He doesn't want to be bothered, and she gets overwhelmed doing it alone. She's slightly taller than I am, and probably fifteen pounds heavier. She has bottle-blond hair; big green eyes, and stays tan year-round from the pool during the summer, or the salon in the winter. She’s from the South and has a heavy accent. We hit it off immediately. She has such a bubbly personality; you can’t help smiling being around her. I've been around her husband Chris just a few times. He’s very dry, the type who always seems bothered by anything anyone has to say, including, and especially, her. I have no idea how their marriage works.

  She’s never offered up how they met, but I’m dying to know. I have been living in my own romantic fairy tale for so long, that I forget that not everyone has what Jason and I have. I think my love story has always seemed a little boring on the surface - high school sweethearts, he was my first, just like in the movies. I love hearing other couples “how we met” stories - the blind dates, the heartbreak, the engagements, I eat it up. I'm definitely one of the lucky ones. I’ve never had any drama with Jason.

  Melanie and I are having our usual morning coffee after we put the kids on the bus when I finally ask her how she and Chris met. I notice she’s uncharacteristically quiet after I ask. After a long pause, she sighs and opens up.

  "Well, usually when anyone asks, I make up a story, but I feel too close to you to lie. I was Chris’ mistress while he was married to another woman. I didn't know until I was in pretty deep."

  She’s blushing while looking down at her hands. I can only imagine what she must tell other people when the subject comes up. I didn't know he was married before.

  "I was an administrative assistant in the office where Chris worked while I was in graduate school. I helped him on some large pr
ojects. He acted as if I held no interest to him whatsoever. He would bark orders at me without even looking up."

  I can tell she really wants to get this off her chest. She’s speaking so rapidly I can barely keep up.

  "One night, he asked me to stay late to help catch up on end-of-quarter paperwork that needed to be finished by the next day. We stayed in his office and began to talk. He was charming when we were alone. He didn't wear a wedding band, and never mentioned a wife or kids. I just assumed he was married to his job."

  She takes a long sip of coffee and for the first time since I’ve known her, she looks melancholy.

  "We ended up having really hot sex on the couch in his office that night. He admitted that he had been attracted to me since I first began the job, but he was trying to stay professional. We saw each other after work in the office for the first few months. He finally agreed to come to my place when I forced it. Of course, he never spent the night: He always had to ‘get up early’. Anyway, I ended up getting pregnant, and he came clean. He and his wife could never have kids of their own, and they were unhappy."

  She seemed relieved, getting it all out.

  "At least that's what he told me. He got divorced, we married and then had Johnny within a few months. The thrill of it all was over pretty quick."

  Now she’s tearing up. I sit in shock. This was not at all what I was expecting.

  "I had the next two boys back-to-back thinking that would help us be a real family, but I was kidding myself. He’s not in it for the long haul. We were supposed to fizzle out like all affairs. I think he was intrigued to become a father, but he never really knew what it meant.”

  “We live separate lives now. He comes home from being on the road, and I couldn't even tell you where he's been. He doesn't call, doesn't ask about the boys, nothing. He bought us this house thinking this was all I needed, I guess."

  She quickly wipes her eyes with the back of her hand, and smiles a bright, Melanie smile. "Well! You know all about my skeletons, huh?" She looks contrite, like she’s expecting me to be shocked and throw her out of the house with disgust.

  "Melanie, no one is perfect. You have three lovely boys who adore you, and a husband who provides. Maybe someday the two of you can find that spark again that brought you together in the first place."

  Her eyes tear up again.

  "Oh, Katie, that's the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me. Thank you." She throws her arms around my neck and squeezes me tightly.

  "I'm sorry, I've just been unhappy for so long. Chris won't even go to marriage counseling with me. It helps so much to talk to you about it. Thank you for not judging me; you have no idea how much that means," she says.

  We finish our coffee, and end up talking about the kids, what's for dinner, anything to put that talk behind us. She gives me another big squeeze that has many unspoken words behind it. I’ve made a friend for life.

  Chapter 13

  Jason

  I feel so guilty tonight. I hate leaving Katie and the kids even for just one night. The athletes that I work with are on the road constantly. Different women in each city, while the wives and kids are at home. Some of these guys don’t even know how many children they have, nor do they seem to care. They tease me about being “whipped” and “henpecked”, but nothing could be further from the truth. I crave my wife, and I adore my children. There is no amount of money in the world that could ever change that.

  I’m also nervous. I’ve made some choices that could ruin everything. I’m having the house watched, just in case, but I feel like it’s not enough to protect them. I have to live with the decisions I’ve made trying to keep them safe, I just pray everyday that it’s enough. If Katie knew the truth, I’m not sure if she could handle it.

  Chapter 14

  Katie

  Jason is gone tonight. We’ve tried so hard over the years to keep true to our promise to not be apart for too long. One of the great things about Jason’s line of work is that there is usually no travel involved. He's had conferences or meetings away before, but I've either gone with him while my parents watched the kids, or we brought them along. He’s almost always the only person with a spouse along, but he insists. He loves having me with him, and I love it too.

  He’s traveling with one of his patients to see a surgeon in New York. The appointment is tomorrow morning and they’ll fly back in the evening. He’s been pretty quiet about the whole thing. It’s really bothering him because he knows that it would be unprofessional to have me along. He’s such a softy.

  I will admit to one thing: My imagination is getting the better of me. This house seems creepy to me all of a sudden. Because of the age of the house, we often joke about it being haunted. Even though it's been remodeled it still creaks like any old house. I put the kids to bed and can't seem to settle myself. I make a cup of tea and call Melanie. As luck would have it, her sister-in-law is in for a visit and offers to watch the boys so she can come over.

  “I'm so glad you’re here. I know it seems stupid, especially since your husband travels so much. I've never been alone overnight before. Can you believe it? I'm almost forty years old, and have to call my friend over!"

  I'm shaking and giggling while pouring us large glasses of chilled white wine. Jason occasionally has a glass of wine these days, too; Dr. Parks turned him on to it. He has become quite the connoisseur, and keeps some bottles in the office to enjoy after hours. Jason still isn't a big drinker, but we usually have wine around. My tolerance for drinking is about the same as it was in high school. Hopefully this will help calm my nerves.

  "Ah, Melanie. You are such a good friend to me."

  I can feel myself trying to get the words out without slurring, but I don't think it's working. I can't even handle large, maybe two large, glasses of wine. Melanie laughs, she's not even a little tipsy, and she's had three.

  "Girl, if Jason saw you right now, I don't think he'd be very happy," she says with a muffled giggle.

  Melanie and Jason don't get along well. I would say they tolerate each other, at best. He doesn't respect her marriage or how she got into it, so he doesn't respect her. If Jason doesn't respect a person, he'll usually know it. She jokes to me that he's too good looking: Can't trust guys like that, she says. Since Melanie's husband is rarely around, we usually see each other when the guys aren't home. I wish she and Jason could be closer.

  "Jason, oh yeah, he's not coming home tonight. I almost forgot! I'm having too much fun," I say, digging through the fridge for something to eat. "Are you hungry?" I ask Melanie.

  "Here, I'll do that."

  She grabs the cheese and hummus out of my hands, and makes a platter for us. She finds some herb crackers and olives, and arranges everything like she’s having a dinner party. I realize I haven't eaten dinner, and this will help me not feel as bad in the morning. I dig in, while she stands and watches.

  "Are you happy?" she asks, out of the blue. I think she's talking about the food.

  "Yeah, this is great. I really needed something to eat."

  She laughs. "I mean in your marriage. You don't seem to talk about it very often, and I just wondered," she said.

  That came from nowhere. Jason and I have always been the couple. No one has ever asked me that before. I just thought it was obvious that we were happy.

  "Of course! I guess we've been together so long that I don't think about whether I'm happy or not. I just am. Jason has been my soulmate since we first laid eyes on each other. I can't imagine being with anyone else."

  "Well, that's an easy answer,” she tilts her head and looks me square in the face. “I'm not buying in it. Think about your life and your relationship. Is it everything you thought it would be? I'm not doubting yours, but I'm feeling stuck with Chris, and I just don't know what to do."

  I didn't see that one coming either. Granted, she and Chris didn't exactly start their relationship on the best of terms, but I thought she made it work somehow. I thought it was enough for her.


  "I want the fairy tale. I've never had anything close to what you and Jason have. He looks at you with such adoration. I'm sure you're used to it, but it's made me rethink a lot of my decisions."

  Listening to her speak about Jason makes me miss him. I feel like I'm going to cry. I look at the time, 9:45 p.m., that's 10:45 p.m. New York time. He should be up and in his room. I excuse myself to go to the bathroom, while Melanie puts on a movie for us. I try to call his cell phone, but he doesn't answer. I go to get mine from my purse so I can text him instead. I see I have two missed calls, both from him, the last one ten minutes ago. He left a message: Hi, honey. We made it in fine, but we hit the ground running. I've met with some potential clients, and now we're headed out for a late dinner. I left my phone charger at home, so I may not be able to talk to you before I get in tomorrow night. I love you, kiss the kids.

  I must have just missed him. I have such an empty feeling not talking to him. I shrug off the feeling, and try to get back into ”girl's night” with Melanie.

  "Did you talk to him?" She smiles at me when I walk in the room.

  "No, I guess my ringer was off when he tried to call. He's out to dinner."

  I've always selfishly seen myself at the center of Jason's existence. It feels weird to think of him in a strange city having dinner with people I've never met. I've lived a pretty sheltered existence. Melanie's snoring wakes me up. The television is still on; we must have both fallen asleep watching the movie. The cable box says that it's 2:43 a.m. I hope she let her sister-in-law know she was staying over. I feel better after my little nap and a snack. I cover Melanie back up with the blanket that has fallen off her legs. She rolls to her side and continues to snore. I turn off the TV, and the lights from the living room. I peek in to check on the kids, and they're both sleeping soundly. The house is quiet.